Happy Birthday Miss Madeline! Yesterday.

I can't believe you are already one! So much has happened this last year. You have brought us so much joy. We love you so much. I will be posting your video soon.

Fun Friday: Your First Easter!

K so these are not yet the Easter pictures, but some family shots we did with the cherry blossoms!  Eventually I will find, edit and post the actual Easter ones.  6 months from now...

Our friend Brian took these:) Thanks Brian!

Wisdom Wednesday (Even though it is Friday :) : The Invisible Church.

 Dear Miss Madeline,

I am sitting here at 6:30am, listening to the sprinklers outside our window. Yesterday we played outside with the sprinklers for the first time.  You are not yet too interested in that all yet, so instead you just crawled around like a little doggie.

I just put you back down in your crib where you like to instantly roll over on to your tummy with your little legs curled under you. It makes me smile.

Last night I had a dream about an invisible church.  It attracted a new group of individuals as we could not see one another .... judge or think we are being judged ... or be seen by anyone else to create a "holier than thou" complex in our heads. It was purely a way we could all come together and not know who we were there with, what they have been through and where they came from, or were wearing, or sounded like, etc... but each individual was there because they were soley looking to better themselves, not just for themselves but for those around them. They were there to simply build there relationship with God.

When I woke from your stirring and desiring a bottle, I stay awake in bed thinking about that invisible church.

Why is it that church is not invisible.

With an invisible church, we would not see one another.  It is that simple.

We were put on Earth into a society of decaying morals, self centered thinking minds and deep sorrows and were given each other to help us out of it. Having a place we can come together to support eachother is wonderful. While there are those who attend church because of the others on earth watching, there are those who go because they simply want to work on becoming better.

Not everyone can make it to church.  Whether physically, mentally, spiritually etc for there reasons from keeping them from going, they do not come. They do not like to be exposed.  Who does. But sometimes we create an illusion of what other people are thinking that isn't there at all. Perhaps history has put us there.  But we have also been given another kind of Church.  The Family.  Family should be a strong unit of support. Everyone is much more fragile that they let themselves allude to. Which is why a healthy supportive family under a loving home are so important.

Hanging on our living room wall, I have collected masks from around the world.  I looked at it the other day, as I went to hang a new one from Venice.  I admired the different styles, cultures, colors etc.  And I sat there thinking about how every country and culture in the world always seems to put out this art form.  But why?

I thought about the idea of 'hiding' behind the mask as a global thing.  Something that as humans and insecure individuals, we do.  Being invisible is therefore a desire of each culture and we all have our masks.

We put up 'Fronts' to disguise our pains. Become invisible. We hide behind the mask with all of our problems invisible to everyone else.  God can always see through the mask. He knows our pains, our sins, our sorrow, our joys ... our struggles.  God, if we let him will lift the mask and heal us, strengthen us, motivate us, inspire us.... ( and totally unrealavant, but as means of lightening the topic just now, I can't also stop thinking of Darth Vaders mask being lifted in Star Wars :)

Anyway, everyone has a scarred face hidden behind there mask in a vain world.

After this life, and resurrection, I know that we will be restored to our full selves. Our masks lifted and our broken scarred selves restored and uplifted.

So now, when I look at that wall, I no longer see it as just an artistic form, but a reminder of the fragile nature of mankind. Everyone is a child of God. Everyone is a delicate precious child of God.

Which is why, we as family must create an enviroment in our home that is healthy to this fragile nature.

A healthy home is:

-  Positive.  Positivity is Power!
- Supportive.  A shoulder is always there to cry on when it is needed.
- A gossip free Zone. Gossip is never helpful. Even when the other person can't hear, somehow they know and it affects them.
- Patience
- Forgiveness
- A healthy place to grow closer to God
- A place to seek rest from a world of pain
- Filled with daily Prayer and Scriptures
- Laughter. In clean and healthy forms.
- A tease free Zone
- Clean. In sanitation, entertainment, language etc.
- A humble place
- A place to talk

Together as families we can work to having a healthy home where we can groove (this was a typo but I had to leave it.  So to add something to the list, not only should we 'Grow' closer to God, but a home also needs laughter, so 'Groove' can stay :) closer to God.

So my dear little Madeline.  I hope that we can provide such a home to you, and I hope you will help us to make it this way. There will be times I will wish you will share more with us about what you are going through, but you will not want to.  But always remember to let God lift up the mask.

Madeline Monday: A spider bite!

A few weeks ago you got your first noticeable spider bite on your upper lip.

At first I wasn't worried... but then I thought... I know NOTHING about spider bites and what if it is something bad... So I did what most people do when they need an answer to a specific problem to perhaps settle my worrying mind and figure out what to do... I went on the internet.

Google search: Spider Bites Utah

"Yes," I thought, "that is a good search, I will find a picture that looks like your bite and see if I can decipher what it might have been and how to fix it..."

The result:

And that is just putting it mildly... I was too grossed out to post further.

My worrying brain was therefore not settled...

I will say that so far you have not been the least bit taken by your spider bite.

But rather smiling, talking, and as happy as usual! So take THAT spider! I will now suck you up with my vacuum.

Fun Friday: Hospital Visitors and Going Home!

Right now you are sitting on my lap eating your toes and talking about it. There is a hole in your outfit, and I think this is why:)

Today we will revisit the memories of our many visitors to the hospital and home!

While in labor, Grandma Clements, Grandma Zobell and Auntie Emma waited eagerly out in the waiting room.  Emma even wore her PJ's!

Mom (Grandma) drove out as fast as she could as soon as I told her it all was starting! She even tried to go to the airport, missed the flight then drove out. She loves us so much! Grandpa couldn't come and was very sad her couldn't be he got to meet you soon too!

They all came in and said hello! Then we got transported to our recovery room and about 1 or 2 am, they came with gifts, held you and we had fun. Auntie Megan and Morgan made it back from Lake Powell and came too!

Then it was time to sleep.

 One of the most precious moments:) Waking up to Dad holding you with the warm sunset coming in. Oh sweet sunrise...

 I don't know why people don't like hospitals! I felt like royalty, being lift and transported to my room, food brought to me, a button to buzz help lol.

 I loved to bond with my little baby girl, even through the plastic of the crib

 Mom, enough pictures, I'm sleeping!

Grandma Clements.

Time to take you home! In a very BIG Car seat!

Just rockin out in your new little nursery

Great Grandma and Grandpa Zobell came right over when they got back from Lake Powell.

One of our first family pictures.

Snuggles! I can't do this so much anymore ;( You are too wiggly!

Wisdom Wednesday: Marriage

Right now you are snuggled up asleep against my chest. Every once in a while you will move at little, as if to wake up, then settle back into cozy slumber.

I cherish it all.

Today I want to talk about marriage!

As you know your father and I got married young:) We were only 19! And for today's culture that is crazy!  I read an interesting article on it this morning:

http://mobile.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2013/04/i_married_young_what_are_the_rest_of_you_waiting_for.html?original_referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fm.facebook.com

One my favorite lines was, " Marriage doesn’t require a big bank account, a dazzling resumé, or a televised wedding—it requires maturity, commitment, and a desire to grow up together."

Sometimes your father and I joke about the day you get engaged, and how it could be when you are 19 and how we won't have much of an argument because we would be, well.... hypocrites.

And while I agree that marriage should not be rushed into, when you do find the right guy, through dating, prayer and deep communication with that person to see if you are meant to be together, I hope you will find someone who will be a fighter ... and not an ostrich.

A fighter, works with you and God to overcome all obstacles together. You are a unit and a team. Together you can accomplish so much!

Often times I get very stubborn and will say something to Matt containing the phrase, "I want to do it myself."

But the other day he pointed out to me that nothing great in history has every been done by one person alone, they have always needed the help of someone else.

Over the 6 1/2 years we have been married, Matt has helped me through many things and helped me build so much too!  Together we have built up a business, gotten through school, been a support to each other through sickness and health, celebrated our accomplishments and sympathized with each other in sorrow. Together we have strengthened each other and helped one another to grow. 

So when people give me that look of wow.. ok.. when I tell them I got married at 19, it doesn't bother me... it may not be everyone's journey they are meant to take, but many don't realize the blessings of marriage and how that marriage can help you grow.

That is all for today. Time to go be a mommy!

Love you

Wisdom Wednesday: Creatures of Habit

I recently read an article that I really liked: http://www.russhillmedia.com/2013/03/19/confessions-of-a-mormon-bishop/  And I may touch parts of it at a time with posts in the leading weeks.

But today I will focus on one of the lines:

We are Creatures of Habit.

A few weeks ago testimony meeting had this sort of theme and I got up and spoke of the following.. with some extensions...

Organized religion is often looked down on by various individuals of our society.  The question is why? What could be wrong with a group of people in a community coming together on a regular basis sharing there similar beliefs, supporting each other to create better habits and grow closer to God?

The answer, judgement. Perhaps feeling judged, looked down on etc when being among others and working on changing ourselves... because, no one likes to admit they make mistakes. And by admitting we are not perfect and need help in any kind of setting exposes our inner insecurities in a way... if we let ourselves think of it that way...  Mistakes are what make us weak right? Wrong!!! Nothing can be further from the truth. And anyway, if there is someone who is judgmental... well... I say don't let a silly  nincompoop get in the way of the joy and happiness the gospel and the spirit and feelings of peace bring. ...

Recently I saw a picture with the words "Heaven will never be filled with those that have never made a mistake..."  Because we are all sinners. We are STUPID! AND FORGETFUL and then STUPID again!  EVERYONE has made dumb choices in their life. I am sooooooo happy to have the atonement of Jesus Christ to use as a way to fix up the things that I have done and become better from it. And yes we will make dumb mistakes again but if we do not use the atonement, we will be walking on egg shells and when we do make a mistake we will CRACK! The point is to be resilient.. not to say, " I will sin then repent later..." Nope... but to do our best to Choose the Right, but when we do mess up, to know that God is there for us.

Satan works in Two very strong ways.

The first is that we will never be good enough for the Gospel. That when we have made too many mistakes that we should be cast out and never to return.

The second is that we are better than his Gospel.  The wisdom of the world knows better. Science know better, philosophy knows better. God is the greatest scholar there is.  That is that!

Satan know us all very well too. He knew there would be those that would not be driven away from the gospel by big things but even just the small ones.  Even so, they do not feel small to us.

Which brings me back to when I shared my testimony on organized religion.

As I said we are forgetful people. We need every little device to help us remember all the little and big things in our life.

At Christmas I teased my sister when she got a reminder buzz on her phone to drink water.  But then, I guess I am a hypocrite... I too forget to drink enough water, spiritual or otherwise.

Faith is a muscle! We must work it out regularly or else we will end up 'Skinny Fat' (as Matt's old female co-workers use to call it lol) hahaha.  I know, terrible analogy, but I couldn't resist. Anyway, we will loose our strength to get through the difficult things in life in a healthy way. (And by unhealthy I mean other things to deal with stress... drugs and alcohol, to even the less dramatic seeming ones... like distractions, and there are sooo many: Internet, Money, Vanity, Hobbies... and all the other things that are so important in the worlds eyes of here and now... There are so many 'addictions' in the world as means to deal with stress)

What did you eat for dinner Tuesday before last?  Do you remember.  Maybe if you pull up your google calendar and happen to be that organized, if so I am jealous. The point is, is that you likely have forgotten, but regardless it gave you nourishment. Nourishment gives us strength.  Going to church is our weekly much needed spiritual feast. (Though we need our daily bread too:)

There are those that are starving.  I personally am a GROUCH when I am hungry! Matt knows haha.  I fuss about my empty stomach and when it growls I too growl... I am short and feisty. A side that Matt usually gets the pleasure to witness! Anyway, sometimes... ok almost every time, lately, with 9am church, I am a starving grouch! Getting up early, feeding the baby and myself if there is time, and if not than well ya know, then getting ready with clothes that actually match... getting stuff for our primary kids ready etc.  Anyway we are late, befuzzeled, tired and irritable to say the least.  But most of all, I am hungry!

Well, every week without fail, we leave church Spiritually fed. We feel content, at peace, refreshed and nourished. Listening to the primary children sing, to the various lessons and through prayer, testimony and music the spirit knocks one over the head... but in a sort of comforting way :)  Saying, "SLOW down, everything is going to be alright." Clarity comes to the mind and God's love is there.

We are creatures of habit for sure! It is so easy to say yes to everything else besides Spiritual things... because they seem more fun or are just tempting, like sleeping in. And we put it in the back of our minds with the side thought of "Oh... next week... next time... later..." Well, I am really good at this.  But in general, I often make the mistake of thinking there will always be enough time.

Here are some habits that I would like to form/ work on:

- FHE once a week
- Visiting the Temple once a Month
- Daily Scriptures.... even just 1 chapter!
- Screen Free Sunday

Until next time, Love, Mom

Madeline Monday: Your Birthday!

It was a very special day indeed when you arrived! And each day you have been such a wonderful blessing since.  With the early morning light coming in, you laid in my arms still asleep, little long eyelashes,round little cheeks, you little lips sucking in your dreams of food... and you are such a little treasure:)

You are now 7 months old. You like to chat with everyone with lots of Baa's, Da's and Ma's.  When you are sad or tired you use a lot of mmmmm, and maammm's, so I of course like to think you are calling for me.  The other day you kept saying "ba, ba" and once you got your bottle, you went to town.  You also will say 'ba' a lot for bears, or your stuffed animals like Mr. Peabody, the black and white panda.

You love to suck on Mr. Peabody's nose. He doesn't mind.

Our doctor was right one when it came to your due date of August 16th.  Yes, you were born on August 17th at 12:20 am, but to go into labor on the actual due date was exciting.

At 5 am I woke up with contractions starting. And having been just as bad as any menstrual cramps, I told Matt to go to work, since I had a Doctors appointment at 9 anyway. I continued to have contractions, but not close enough apart.

After my doctors appointment, I drove back home with instructions to keep busy and moving... so I went home and did dishes and ate lunch etc... come 11am, I was in a lot of pain.  Contractions feel like getting STABBED in the lower back again and again. So I called Matt. He came home an hour later.

Now Matt's co-workers thought he was CRAZY! "What?! Your wife is in labor and you came to work!!?  Are you an idiot!"

hahahahhahhahaaa.  East coast people:)

Anyway, I knew that these would last all day, but my contractions were inconsistent, so it seemed like out of nowhere the timing of them was time for me to go the hospital!

Thank goodness for Apps.  With my handy dandy i-phone, Matt found an app for 'Active Labor' for us to time them all very easily. Much easier that pen and paper.

Anyway, as the doctor said, we kept ourselves busy.  Matt loaded the car, then we went on a drive.  We ran errands at Smith's Market Place... and every time I started having a contraction I would just stop and sit down on one of the little shelves... practically on the floor... people must have thought we were nuts!

Then we went to Cafe Rio! Bad idea! I was starving, but in too much pain! So then we decided to go straight to the hospital from there.

Upon arriving we went to check in but none of the rooms were available so we just had to wait. A few others checked in too.  I was dressed and done up somewhat normal, so when a pj's, bathrobed, sickly looking woman came in with slippers and a puke cup and hair a mess and all hunched over... granted she didn't feel well either:) She got to go first! I guess next time I should better dress the part!

Soon enough it was time to waddle down the hall, stop for contractions along the way and get into the room.

Now I won't go into a lot of detail, part because it is personal, and part because when you have babies and are interested and will tell you more are you wish....

But anyway, after vomiting, squeezing any blood out of Matt's hand with each contraction, and focusing on my breathing, I finally got the IV and things were much better! Matt of course was polite and making small talk with the nurses as he does anyone and I was of course a grouch and wanted to be like, 'SHUT UP! HELLO! I am having a BABY here!' ;P lol.

But I wouldn't have had anyone else there but him! He is so supportive and loving and patient and well... AWESOME! And when you are going through something this hard, you need that!

Anyway, from 6pm to midnight, it all went down and crazy fast too! I mean the doctor was checking on other patients and their progress too and after a few check ups, she said we were in the lead! It was a race! And you won! Ha ha!

Between contractions we laughed and joked with the nurses and it was low key.

And about 12:20am, you arrived! When they pull you out, they bring you up to what they appropriately call the 'Angels Landing Pad' aka my chest. And we snuggled. You opened your little eyes and looked at me and your dad and we just cried. Neither of us had seen anything so beautiful that had brought us so much joy! So many emotions fill you in the moment.  Excitement, love, joy, peace, and being scared to death of it all at the same time of being a new parent.

Soon enough they took you away, cleaned you up and brought you back to eat and snuggle up again. The warmth touched my heart and soul.  I love you so much!

Anyway, time to wake you up! You are a sleepy baby this morning! And next time we will share visitors and your first few days of life:) XOXO , mom:)

Fun Friday - The days leading up to your Arrival!

Dear Miss Madeline,

You are almost three months old! The days have passed so quickly and you have already started to grow out of some of your clothes. It makes me want to cry every time something doesn't fit you! And I say ,"Slow Down Baby! Slow down! Mama can't keep up!"

So, given that so much time has passed, this also means that I am behind on sharing and posting all of our adventures too! So we will start at the beginning, or technically before the beginning to share the adventures you had while you were still growing in my belly :)

Pregnant: The time in a woman's life when she becomes a waddling penguin champion of caring a watermelon on her belly with a bun baking in the oven of it... she also transforms into a bird in her various tweets of complaint toward her husband such as "can you reach that for me?" or "i can't tie my shoes!". This waddling bird penguin oven roasting creature also develops as keen need for "nesting" as animals of this nature do.

Some of our biggest adventures while pregnant were as follows:

Continuing to work!

Yes, through the Sahara dessert of one of the hottest and dryest Utah seasons, momma the master penguin, and papa the "Matt" ... needed to continue to work! When you dad and I realized the insurance needed to be better, it was time for dad to change jobs, and so he did, with a little bit of a down side, or upside depending on how you look at it.  His training for the new job would take him to NY for 3 months! Thank goodness for Skype and Face time :) Meanwhile I keep on doing as many photo shoot's as I could. This work involves a lot of moving around, which might explain why you were so wiggly inside and even wigglier now that you are here! The first time I felt you move was while I was shooting a wedding. All the movement that day must have got you to start your little flinches! From then on it was wiggle after wiggle.  Like popcorn poppin' from the inside. Whenever I took a bath, you would wiggle and all the water would ripple!

Anyway, photo shoots were quite the adventure to do pregnant!  Getting the low shots involved awkwardly laying on my side in the grass, or squatting this way and that to get a certain shot.  One time I was shooting a couple's engagement pictures and the guy just started laughing and laughing.  I stopped and said, "What is so funny?!" He just told me that I looked funny and he was having a hard time being serious :)

It was great to get out a lot and get just enough good exercise, but it wasn't always easy! One photo shoot we shot up the canyon and I slipped and fell down my side down a rocky slope.  My leg was covered in bruises including one large black one the size of a pear! Ouch! But when life gives you lemons, you just need to through them right back.  Or get up and move on:) ... cuz throwing rocks back at the ground I slip on isn't going to do anything but perhaps make me look silly.

 You were a World Traveler before you were even born! Hawaii, California and New York ... That is a lot for a pregnant lady.

First stop, Hawaii!

Grandma and Grandpa Clements took me and your dad to Hawaii for fun/ graduation presents/ Christmas... Anyway, we were still keeping you a secret until the time was right! And that wasn't easy. Snorkeling in wish washy salt water made me sick and I just played it off as sea sickness.  But my parents knew something was up.  Later they told us that they thought we were having relationship issues... THANKS mom and day!

California

You go to go to Disneyland before you were even born! How awesome is that! Now we don't need to take you when you are little... j/k:)

We had fun at the beach, the aquarium and of course Disney.  We visited family and played a lot of charades! Which Emma has not stopped loving to play for months:) hehehehe.  And we even had a little pretend restaurant! Everyday Emma and I got up early to play and everyone else slept in.  When it was time to go, we had fun obnoxiously awakening them by use of Disney songs!

Baby Shower's!

Even before your arrival  you have been showered with crazy love! So many of us eagerly awaited your arrival. First there was your shower in Colorado. We had oh so much fun! They decorated with a Winnie the Pooh theme, as this was the design of your nursery. It was fun to connect with old friends.

Unfortunately I have been looking everywhere to the location of the pictures I took and being the unorganized person I am ;/ I can't find them, and it has seemed to only delay this posting... since you are now 7 months of age!
Fun with the girls and little Jacob at Mimi's Cafe.


So here are the ones that my mom/ family took.

 I must have been eating something lol. I did plenty of messy spilling while pregnant, so makes sense :)

 The candy buffet :) Our families certainly go all out!

 Hand me down party! YAY for my big sister who had a girl first:) heeee hehheehh

 And my cute nephews who were very excited about the candy bar.

Utah Shower

 Megan and Morgan thought of everything! All the little details were so well planned, from the colors to the games and food.

 Morgans Cute cake she baked:)

 Me and my cousin Jenny! Her baby boy is only a month apart from my baby girl.

 Megan and Morgan with the many treasures! Clothes and toys! Thanks for throwing such a fun shower!

 Me and the Grandmas:)

Visiting Mattie Daddy in New York/ New Jersey

For about 2 months of the pregnancy your dad was in New York. He had to train for his new job at Goldman Sachs.  Thank goodness for skype and facetime though! I certainly kept plenty busy though with getting ready to move and having photo shoots and clients to keep up with.

My delayed plane. Something about the engine breaking... made me feel safe.

 

Along the boardwalk at night on the jersey side.

 Outside the plaza hotel.

 The cutest husband in the WHOLE world!

 A fancy feast at a fancy restaurant.

 Matt told them I was pregnant in the reservation, but it just translated as VIP/ birthday, so I got a birthday dessert anyway!

 This is one of my favorite areas of NY. In central park, there are stairs that go down, and under a walkway. It is all very ornate. On the other side is a large fountain and a row boat pond with willow trees and moss... beautiful:)

 We did a LOT of walking around NYC. Like 50 blocks.  Occasionally stopping since ya know... I was pregnant. One of our favorite stops was Laduree macroons. Flown in from Paris every morning.  MMM. Matt waiting in line for about 35 minutes to get them:)

 Since I was there for a little under a week, I had some down time, but I also had fun setting up the camera and doing some of my own maternity shots.

 The apartment.

 Matt by the headquarters of work.

 It rained from time to time there too. So humid, but I do like it much better in the summer.

Moving

In the weeks after coming back from NY, there was a LOT to do! I spent weeks packing up all the boxes.  I couldn't do any heavy lifting though, so it basically meant I would load a box full of pots and pans and books or whatever, then it would just have to sit there and eventually created a crazy maze of boxes to shimmy through to get around the apartment.  This would have been just fine usually, but the thing is, is that I now had you! So together we tried to squeeze through the gaps and occasionally would knock stuff about!

 These are all just my i phone pictures but eventually I will find the others I took. So many memories in our first little home! I would have my business consultations here, and invite clients down into our little basement apartment and they would book... My various projects would take over from time to time too.

 Doesn't our kitchen look roomy? Not once my crafting and business took over!

The last of many loads!

 The bedroom

 Good bye old apartment!

Hello new apartment!

 The beginning of my studio under construction.

 My fabulous family came all the way out from CO to help move! It was hot! And they helped clean, move all the heavy stuff, paint and cook. How lucky am I?!

We had soooo much awesome family around to help move too.  Even Jeremy's friend from across the street came to help. Those boxes that took my weeks to pack took them minutes to unload and move to our new place! I was running around the kitchen packing more boxes as fast as I could for them. A pregnant woman in action!

Baby Party 

In the days leading up to your due date, Mom was getting really heavy, hot and tired and ready to pop! So two days before you were due it was time to get movin to help give you the hint.  So I invited Granny Sue and Auntie Emma over for a BABY PARTY! And in case you were wondering, just what a baby party is, let me tell you! It is a party incorporating dancing, jumping jacks, jump rope and shimmying with crazy costumes and of course music!

 We also played dress up!

Phew! Loooonng post! I thinks I will be done for now, and devote the next post to your birthday!

Right now you are sitting on my lap chatting with ummms and baaaaas and sucking on your fist and my arm/ fingers and it is time to eat. TTFN